Miracles

Hailing from Denver, I bleed orange and blue for my Broncos. The past few seasons have been rough for the Mile High City, and this season started off looking like another difficult one. Then, the Broncos played the Miami Dolphins, a game which would become the first of now a series of inexplicable comeback victories led by Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow is not your typical professional quarterback. There are countless critics who have compiled a list as long as an ancient scroll of all of the things that Tebow cannot do as a quarterback. Tebow is capable of a couple of vital things however, he plays the entire game with a passion that few have ever seen; he inspires his teammates to play harder - even seasoned veterans such as Champ Bailey and Brian Dawkins; and with him as the starter, everybody on that team believes that they WILL win. Football is a team sport and that is what I think a lot of people are missing in all of this. People think that games are won solely by people like Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, and Ray Lewis all alone. They are all terrific players, but take the other 10 guys that are out on the field and none of those men would be capable of anything.

Here are a couple of motifs that come to mind when I present a comparison for Tim Tebow.

The first: Moses. Moses was illiterate and could not speak well. God chose Moses to confront Pharoah and lead the Hebrews out of Egypt. Imagine all of the things that critics came up with in regards to what Moses was incapable of. And yet, he was successful in leading the Hebrews out of Egypt on their way to the Promised Land.

The second: Men need other men to become the best they can be. I, along with Campus Ministry and the aid of another fellow student, Frank Kane, are currently forming a men's retreat for the spring. One of the topics is male-to-male relationships. In general, men relate to sports very well so while I've been hearing all of this negative talk about all of the things that Tim Tebow cannot do, I think of all of the things that I cannot do. But then I realize everything that I am capable of with the help of the men around me. Imagine what we would all do if we worked together with a common vision and did everything that needed to be done in order to achieve our aspirations together. Do you know what would happen? Miracles. Ordinary people doing ordinary things together can produce extraordinary results that don't seem humanly possible. Miracles.

Why Worry?

I'm supposed to do a short presentation about my "Career Mission" and how to market myself in that career. Honestly, I'm stuck on this one. If you're like me (and arguably 99.99999% of university students) you haven't got the slightest clue what you want to do with the rest of your life.

It's definitely good to have direction in life. And I think that I am in a great spot. I'm not sitting around waiting for life to pass by me with an opportunity. I am actively searching out and learning about things that interest me. For example, I'm trying desperately to get an internship with a sports performance facility. Am I going to be in sports performance for the rest of my life (or anything of the like)? Maybe, maybe not. From a handful of very respectable people I have spoken with, I don't expect to get it all right immediately out of school. Through my experience, I have found that the only thing that I can do is make decisions based on the information I have. Pretty simple idea, right? Well, how often do we worry about things that are out of our control? I would contend...too often. Yes, it's important to look to the future and try to plan, but I know that I have had situations of indecisiveness in which I stayed on the fence between two options because I was dwelling so much on what I thought that outcomes were going to be.

So, in a nutshell I guess my lesson for the week would be to live in the present. Let tomorrow worry about itself.

My Own Path

I am going to make a phone call tomorrow. This phone call will last less than five minutes. It will determine the next two years of my life.

FOCUS called me on Thursday offering me a position as a missionary. I asked them to give me the weekend for final discernment. I have never been more certain of anything. One year ago, I never would have thought that I would be doing something like this. I figured that I would leave college, get a job and start living life on my own for a while. Well, there's my plans and there's God's plans. He seems to get His way a lot. His way is undoubtedly what is best, so I guess that's alright. It's definitely a leap of faith as I will be fundraising my living salary. It will be a great lesson in dependence on others. I know that I depend on others right now, I certainly will for the next two years, and I cannot see that changing anytime soon in my life. We all need someone.

My roommate just walked in and said, "Seventeen days." Seventeen days until he graduates; a looming destiny for me in a few short months. Life is about to change drastically. All of the people that I have come to know and love over the last four years are going to go their separate ways out into the world. It's no easy time. The world, as it is today, feeds into mundane lifestyles of clocking in and out of a job day in and day out like machines. There are two few opportunities (noticed/taken) to live out loud. I, for one, am determined not to fall into a monotonous life. If there is one thing that I can do each day to serve as a light for another person, a light that gives them hope that there is still pure good and joy, I am more than happy to do it. I will humbly admit that I know that I will miss opportunities due to self-absorption - not that I want that, but everyone has their off days and I am no different. I'm human. But I think that's what it means to have hope. I realize where I am right now, and I am very much simply content with life; however, the hope that I have is that where I am is not the peak of my existence. "Enjoy college. These are the best years of your life!" I certainly hope not! They have been formative, there's not doubt about that. And I will miss the many memories which have come out of my time here, but I am simply turning the pages to a new chapter in which new memories will be made. Joy will continue to be an aspiration and while I will miss my college years, I shall not dwell on them so much that I miss opportunities to form new memories. Life goes to fast to sit around thinking too much about the way that things used to be. John 10:10 "I came that they might have life and have it to the full." That is a gift, and I do not plan to waste it.

So, the next two years, I will be sharing Christ's love on whatever college campus I am placed. That could be anywhere across the country. Hearts will be changed, lives will be formed, the world will be set ablaze.

Drop Your Nets

I like to consider myself a pretty spontaneous person. I do have structure, but I also allow for a lot of flexibility in my schedule. My nickname for this weekend - "Gumbi."

Over the course of this semester, I have been considering applying to be a FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) missionary after I graduate. Tuesday night, I realized that interviews in Kansas City are the same weekend that I leave for Nicaragua on a service trip for spring break. Oh yea, I'm going on a service trip to Nicaragua for spring break. Anyway, at that point I didn't know what other weekend I would be able to go. The next morning, I got a text message from my friend Marcus who is a missionary asking if I was up. It was 8:30am. "What could he possibly have to talk to me about at 8:30 in the morning?" He text me back and said that it was really crazy so he was going to call me. The next second he was on the phone and he says, "Can you go to Denver this weekend for interviews?" I sat in silence for about a minute. "...I'm not going to say no." There was a ton going on this weekend on campus here in KC. Bible study, birthday party, fraternity event, service, my friend had two tickets to see the Broncos play the Chiefs (win!). I don't know why, but that afternoon I told him that I could make it happen. That meant that I had to fill out an application the same day because it was due at midnight, along with three references by the Friday. It was a lot, but thankfully my friends came through and got them in. By midnight on Wednesday night/Thursday morning it was a reality that I would be leaving for Denver in 23 hours!

Matthew 4:19-20 "He said to them, 'Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.' At once they left their nets and followed him." That's exactly how I felt when I said that I could make the trip out to Denver. My decision certainly did not disappoint either. The Holy Spirit did work on my heart this weekend to the point where at the beginning I was only going to keep an option open for after I graduate; now, assuming I get the call, this is my number one choice. Yes, I will forfeit the opportunity to go on Survivor. In a heartbeat.
I met a ton of great people this weekend. I truly hope that it is not the last time that our paths cross. It was just so incredible to experience again a group of peers pursuing the same relationship with Jesus and striving to become great. St. Catherine of Siena said, "Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire." There was a blazing wildfire this weekend in Denver.

That's the weekend in a nutshell. Gotta love spontaneity! If you follow avidly or just happen upon this entry, I would ask for your prayers as I continue to discern God's will for me for the next couple of years of my life.

Protect the Dignity of Women

If you recall last week's post, I had been dealing with my own passive approach to confrontation. I had a dream that I was sitting around a table with some people who were talking disrespectfully about women. In my dream, I slammed my fists on the table, yelled that I couldn't stand it anymore, and stormed out of the room. It was one of those incredibly realistic dreams where it feels like it actually happened; consequently, I woke up very empowered, feeling like I had finally made a stern and firm stance. However, I couldn't help but think that that wouldn't be the correct reaction in that situation. Certainly, my passive approach hadn't been working, but was I going to get anywhere by throwing a fit either? I decided not. There has to be a middle ground. I have to be able to take a hard stance with a serious tone rather than in a joking manner without throwing a child-like tantrum.

I think that I found it! The reality scene was a little different but I was encountered by a similar conversation where the dignity of women was being completely disregarded. In the moment, I simply made a hurried effort at changing the subject. "So that robot that won Jeopardy, that's pretty impressive, right?" Success. That was only the beginning. Afterwards in the car I asked a few of the guys who were there what they thought about the incident. Though I was surprised at some of the responses, I was very glad to have been able to have civil, diplomatic conversation about it. And I definitely made my stance known in a very firm way - with a plan of action to change the way that men treat women (at least on a small scale for now). But that was exactly what I wanted. Effective change doesn't typically happen on a large scale right away. I wanted to start with a small group of men; a small group that I can try to influence who will then hopefully take it to heart so that if they run into the same thing down the road with other men, they will have the courage and the knowledge to recognize and put a stop to it.

Who are the important women in your life? How would you react if someone was hurting them? I present a challenge to any of the men who happen to read this. When you see a woman being mistreated, stand up. Protect her like you would your sister or your mother.

Passivism

I have had a nagging issue this semester. No need to go into details; specific stories are not necessary because I'm sure that everyone has experienced this to some degree at some point in their life. My passive nature has been becoming increasingly frustrating as I want to strive for the best, not only for myself, but for those around me as well. The main balance that I'm trying to find is bringing those around me up without coming off as judgmental. I want to inspire others to be there best that they can be.

It's really interesting: actually telling somebody that I want them to be the best that they can be seems corny and weird; I feel like that is common in society and yet it is so easy for us to throw out words that offend and hurt others. Why is it so easy for us to inflict pain on the people around us, and it is so hard for us to share with the people around us how much we care about them. Which brings up another point, what does it mean to care about someone? Does it mean that we just do whatever it takes to make sure that we're both just happy, warm, and fuzzy all of the time. Well, no. Not necessarily. Sometimes caring for someone means calling them out on behavior that is inappropriate or harmful. I want people to do that for me if I get out of line (which I know has happened plenty). It certainly is hard, but that is what this world is lacking - people who care enough to speak up and take a stand. We're all just taught to "get along" and "agree to disagree." Apathy. It's the worst thing that we can do to ourselves. "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Now, I'm certainly not saying that I want to go out and lay the hammer down on anyone and everyone who missteps. My purpose here is not to play the judge. But my purpose here is also not to allow the people around me to fall into habits and actions that are potentially harmful to themselves or others. Loving them always. If you happen to have a sure-fire exact equation for how to find that balance, please let me know. Well, I'm done preaching. Take it for what it's worth. My reflection of life experiences. Certainly far from an exact science.

Childhood Memories...Meet College Night

One of my favorite memories growing up was going to the pumpkin patch every year. A couple of vivid memories were when my oldest brother was learning how to drive and I was sitting on the tailgate of our big blue Suburban. He took it a little too fast going on the rough dirt road, hit a bump and I hit my head on the rear hatch window. (Surprised I remembered). The next one was a little less painful. I, myself, learned how to drive at the pumpkin patch. The car that I learned on was an F-150 with a stick shift which ended up being the car that I got to drive for the rest of my high school career.





















Well, this weekend held in store neither a tender bump on the head or any dirt road driving lessons, but yet another Halloween memory was made. My fraternity's date party was planned on the perfect night. Who knew that pumpkin patches had a college night? Discount! We did it all. There was a huge fire; we messed around on all of the rural equipment; took a really scary hay ride; and slid down the hill slides that they had set up. We even made up some fun of our own - a couple scenes of a horror film and a few trust falls. I personally capped off the evening with a warm cup of apple cider and of course...a pumpkin!!! Next on the agenda is roasted pumpkin seeds and an attempt at pumpkin pie...from scratch. I'll be sure to let you know how it turns out.

"Mary Time"

The story of Mary and Martha is one that teaches us how to find the balance between working and finding time to relax. Martha overwhelms herself thinking that she always has to be working in order for her time to be worthwhile. Mary on the other hand, spends her time in the story talking with Jesus. When Martha accuses Mary of not working, Jesus teaches Martha that Mary's time with Him was equally necessary. Nutshell overview of the story.

This fall break, I planned on catching up (and possibly getting a little bit ahead). Well, the body has an interesting way of telling you that you need to just relax for a couple of days. Zero motivation. Unbelievably tired. Instead of hitting the books hard this weekend, I enjoyed the time off and recouped from possible overexertion over the past couple of months.

I have pretty much been on the go trying to anything and everything I can to make sure that my senior year is memorable and fruitful. Over the last week or two, I have not taken the time to just relax and be. This weekend was the perfect opportunity and my body told me to take advantage of it. With six more weeks ahead of me with plenty of work to do, I hope to be able to find the pockets of time to allow myself to take a breather rather than stay in 5th gear for six straight weeks only to collapse for an entire weekend. It's an important lesson to learn. And it's difficult sometimes because personally, I sometimes feel like if I'm not doing something I'm letting someone else down. Yet another lesson in humility. I'm simply not capable of doing everything for everyone. I was talking to a friend last week and I had given her this advice, "You're not that important." She had given the same advice to one of her friends recently. It's funny that all three of us really needed to hear it. The important things will get done when they need to be done. In the times that we can't make it to spend time with friends, there will be other times.

Life. 200mph

NASCAR!!! My fraternity had a fundraiser at the Kansas Speedway this weekend. Now, I do not really enjoy any surface level aspect that NASCAR has to offer: cars going around a circle track 200+ times, unbearably loud to the point where thinking to yourself isn't even an option let alone talking to the person sitting right next to you. However, in the spirit of the Jesuit value of finding God in all things, an observation that I was able to make was in how the racers respond to a crash (not the crowd because that's the most exciting thing for the crowd). What I observed whenever there was a crash on the track was the pace car made its way out onto the track in preparation for a restart and all of the other cars waited for the crash to clear. Here's the connection that I made: especially in our culture, we're all going around and around, often times completely unaware that the people around us are...well other people, not just brainless jerks who get in our way and slow us down on the freeway. In the development of my own personal faith life, one of the things that I realize that I have grown in is recognizing when a friend is really down, or has "crashed." What I have learned and really taken to is that getting to the finish line isn't the entire point of life; being there to help others finish the race is equally, if not more important. Realistically, this was not the reasoning for this rule or practice in NASCAR, but I do find it interesting that such a strong Christian ideal can be found amongst an obnoxiously loud sport with seemingly no real point.


The other awesome part of the weekend was simply the time spent with my best friends. Honestly, getting up at 5am throughout the weekend is not my first choice when it comes to recouping after a long week. But it was, and is always, so awesome to simply be present with my friends. Referring to my struggle early on in this semester in which I was just in my own little world much of the time, I believe to have learned quite well the importance of living in the moment and trusting that my future is in the hands of my Father. My life is infinitely more enjoyable when I entrust myself to Him and enjoy the life with which He has graced me rather than worrying about what is in store for me 7 months from now.

Geezer, Habitat, Homecoming

Well, the blessings just keep on coming. I had a little bit of a breakdown in the middle of the week getting overwhelmed with all of the work that I am involved in, but the weekend came soon enough and had another memorable one.
Friday kicked off the weekend with "Geezer Fever," one of the sorority's date parties. I was invited by the wonderful Colleen Smyth. This was my favorite theme party I have ever seen. Everyone was just so into it - there were walkers with tennis balls, walkers with toilet seats, gray hair, and retired folks...all dancing to the modern-day rap and hip-hop music. It was hysterical. Then we went to Chubby's for fourth meal (not the typical 2am run that college students often attend, rather, the geezer late-night meal at 10:30pm).

The next morning, I was up early to head to a Habitat build down the road from Rockhurst University. The best part about the day was that there was a perfect amount of volunteers there for the number of volunteer leaders. Typically, with builds like this there are simply too many hands for the work, but I got to work one-on-one with a leader as we hung doors and laid base board around the house. And, although I was not working directly with them, one of the things that I really like about Habitat is that they have the people who will eventually live in the houses help build them. It really gets the volunteers more involved in the lives of the people whom they are helping. And it gives those who are receiving the help a feeling of accomplishment as they play such a large role in the construction of their own home. It was a really great way to spend time with my fraternity brothers for the day - serving others.
The finale of the weekend was capped off with the homecoming dance. Firstly, I went to dinner at P.F. Chang's on the Plaza with Nate Olson and David Wallisch. Then on to downtown KC. The highlight of the night was a tremendous honor. I was voted homecoming king. I was just...well incredibly humbled. The thing is, I feel like that honor is not like in high school where people vote for you because you're the "cool kid on campus." There's more respect in it than that and, again, I cannot say how much of an honor it is to have been voted for it. Praise God for whatever gifts I have been given that made it so.

Family & Alumni Weekend

This past weekend was family and alumni weekend. It was kicked off with a festival on Lower Bourke field with student organizations providing games and small fundraisers, food, cotton candy, snow cones, and blow-up obstacle courses. There was also three athletic events: men's and women's soccer and women's volleyball. The weekend doubled as the kick-off for homecoming week. The introduction of homecoming court was made at halftime of the men's soccer game. Honored, I was one of the nominees. Finally, I got to sport my vest that I got from Belize again.My family was unfortunately not able to make it out this weekend just with all of the busyness going on back at home with younger siblings sports events going on all weekend. I made the most of it, rather the least of it. I took Friday night to relax as the next few weekends have been filled up already with tons of plans. I stayed in on Friday and watched a movie. As the weekend continued on, I went down to the Plaza Art Fair for a couple of hours. There were some really awesome works of art down there. My favorite was a collection of running gears. I have always wished that I was more artistically talented, but that's simply not one of my gifts.

The next few weeks are pretty full. My first interfraternity Bible study is coming up on Wednesday. I'm really looking forward to it as I have been planning for it since last semester. I'm also meeting with Campus Ministry to begin planning a men's retreat for the spring semester.

Don't just survive. Thrive.

The Present is a Gift

I am so incredibly blessed. The past two weekends have been just what I have needed. On Friday evening I had some friends over to the house. Originally, we were going to have a fire in the backyard, but the weather didn't cooperate so we moved the party inside. It's interesting how what you're doing is not nearly as important as the people with whom you do it. All present: Nate Olson, David Skelton, Josh Hollis, Frank Kane, Colleen Smyth, Anna Stroop, Maddie Burkemper, and Wils. We didn't do anything special, we just sat in the living room and talked and played a board game, but it was simply perfect.

The next morning, the girls and I went to the Farmers' Market just outside of downtown. It was a really awesome atmosphere down there. I saw God in so many ways there this weekend. Very clearly in the girls, but a couple of observations I made really made an impact. First, I saw a brother and sister interacting with each other. The older brother was probably about 8, and the younger sister about 3 or 4. It was so awesome to watch the older brother taking care of his younger sister. He was holding the umbrella over her head when it started raining and had his arm around her. The second impact observation was seeing an older couple walking around the market. With the inexcusable behavior of men in our country today who don't take responsibility for their actions and don't remain committed to their promises, it is so incredibly refreshing every time I see a couple who has been together for many many years - not to mention, the wife was not in great physical health and the husband was taking care of her in her frail state. Doesn't get much better than that.

Well, two weekends in a row now of having great opportunities of simply being present with those I am around have provided a great remedy for my feeling of detachment from Kansas City and from college and my friends here. I have been thinking too far into my future about what is going to happen after I graduate and that had been preventing me from enjoying the present moment.

Don't just survive. Thrive.

Toga, Hopkins, Karaoke, Chalk...and a new business?

This was my fourth and final Toga party of my college years at Rockhurst. It was so much fun! So many memories. I stayed out afterward and had some awesome conversations with great people over at my friends' house. While I don't regret staying up and talking with people until 6am, running a 5k starting at 10am wasn't a great way to treat my body. I did run it in 22:30 though so I feel pretty good about that. To the winners: 18 minutes, Wow! Way to go!

Last night I went out with a group of friends to the Westport Flea Market to do karaoke. It was awesome! It started out being just me and my friend Nate for the first 45 minutes, but then people started coming in waves and there was a solid showing of Rockhurst people. That was the first time I ever done karaoke there...it won't be the last. What a night!

I came home to a pleasant surprise from my night out on the town. I had received a text message earlier in the evening that said, "Hope you had a great night...Be sure to use your front door tonight ya old geezer." What? I was obviously very confused. But then it all came together when Nate and I walked up the steps of our walkway and saw the sidewalk decked out with chalk. Jordan Siebenmorgen and Colleen Smyth asked Nate and I to go to the date party for their sorority. It was really cool because it brought back memories of my high school days because I asked a couple of girls to dances using chalk on their driveways. Pretty effective. 100% success rate, no big deal.And finally, in the past year I have baked up a loaf of my mom's banana bread for a few of my neighbors. They have been asking for more ever since. My neighbor Judy gave me $20 for a single loaf yesterday. Now, if something indeed does come from this, I certainly will not be charging $20/loaf; however, I wouldn't mind having a little side job income while satisfying people with the best banana bread that will ever touch your taste buds. Just ask them!

Nature's Call...Don't Worry, It's Not What You Think

I went on a camping trip over Labor Day weekend that was organized by a young adult Catholic group in Kansas City. The event is called, "Nature's Call." For me, it was really refreshing because usually when I have gotten together with large groups in that type of weekend setting, there's a lot of talks and personal reflection and "let's get really close this weekend and pretend we're going to keep in touch after we leave." This was nothing like that. It was organized, but unstructured fun all weekend long. We just hung out together - going swimming in the lake, playing lawn games, cards, there was an Iron Chef competition, a greased watermelon game in the lake and a live band at the marina.

Now, contrary to the point I made at the beginning about meeting people and then pretending that we're going to keep in touch, I met a handful of people that I really would like to keep in touch with. One guy, Kiran, who I met there (he ended up staying in my tent because he didn't have one) works at an Indian Cuisine restaurant in Overland Park called, "Chilli n Spice." He invited me to come to the restaurant sometime. And we're friends on Facebook now which makes the friendship official (sarcastic).

So the main point that I would like to make clear through this entry (which also relates to my experience this entire summer at Camp Wojtyla) is that living a Christian lifestyle often has this misconception of only being a list of "Dos and Don'ts" and you're condemned if you don't follow the rules; the real truth of the Christian life being that having a right relationship with God and others and living life to the full is actually FUN!!!

Nothin' to Lose

This past weekend was full of enjoyment. The headliner for the weekend was the Josh Gracin concert on Lower Bourke. Great times.

After the concert, I went over to a friend's house. It was really cool because after the concert, I didn't really feel like going over, I just felt like crashing at home and watching a movie. Little did I know what the evening had in store for me! I got my fix of relaxation as I people-watched from a chair in the corner of the basement. I just sat there by myself for about 15-20 watching everybody interact with each other and enjoy each others' company. I entered reflection mode as I pondered where I would be this time next year; away from college life and into a new and exciting chapter. Following my personal reflection time, I started walking around the house and ended up having awesome conversations with people with whom I had never had the opportunity of having really good, in-depth discussions. Following this series of authentic conversation, I finally made it to a point where I had the urge to join the dance party. I made my way back downstairs and burned up the floor (yea right!). It was funny because on my way over to the house I was saying that I was only in the mood to stay for an hour or not much longer than that...3 hours later and I'm finally making my way out the door. When I got back to my house, I decided that I needed to wind down before I went to bed. What better way to do that than to utilize the fire pit in my backyard? So I got a small fire going; fit for the enjoyment of the company of one. Just sat and took in the whole evening, in addition to a series of other thoughts. I was completely fulfilled on the evening because I was about ready to settle for a night of sitting in front of a television screen for 2 hours while everyone else had fun. I got to experience the night on a completely different level as I hit every facet of a party experience by soaking in the moment at the beginning; sharing great conversation with friends; and then getting my dance moves on before leaving the house and reflecting in front of a small fire. I don't mean to discredit the experience of everyone else, but I would argue that I had the BEST night of anybody there.

A New Home

Upon my return to Rockhurst I realized something. Before I had left for the summer, I had walked around the entire campus with this inescapable thought that it would be the last time I would be seeing the Rockhurst campus. I didn't understand it at all because I still had my senior year ahead of me. It didn't make any sense. Still, the feeling sat in my stomach and I couldn't get over it. I started thinking about all of the friends that I would miss if I didn't return to Rockhurst. I have had so many people help me grow in various ways here. I know that the day will come soon, but I just wasn't ready for that thought back in May of my junior year.

Through some reflection time here is what I realized: outside of a new class of freshmen, a giant parking garage, and summer haircuts, nothing has really changed here at Rockhurst. That's when it hit me. I have experienced some major changes over the past summer. I changed. I'm a different person than I was when I left in May. It's a good change. I was moved greatly by the Holy Spirit this summer and I have returned to campus with a purpose and a mission that I didn't really have a few months ago. I think that may explain that feeling that I had three months ago. I was looking at everything for the last time in that particular light; I was going to see it all again, but it would be with a new set of eyes.

Among a few plans including an inter-fraternal Bible study and a Men's Retreat, I have taken on the Spiritual Chair of my fraternity. I have seen how experiencing Jesus Christ has morphed me into a much better person than I was when I first came to college. I honestly have trouble explaining most of it to other people, possibly because I'm not sure if they'll understand. But I suppose that is not for me to decide. My responsibility is to live out my faith so that others may experience Christ's love through me. "Make me a channel of your peace."

Can't Get Enough Outdoors

One weekend after I got back to civilization after an entire summer in the wilderness, my family decided to go on a vacation. A weekend camping by Dillon Reservoir between Dillon and Frisco Colorado. I think I kind of like this stuff. My mom asked me if I was alright with going camping for our family vacation. I love it. I finally got to go fishing too. I hadn't been fishing on a lake during the summer since 2009. I grew up fishing every summer. Wasn't great, only caught one on the weekend but it was such a great time just sitting back relaxing on the lake shore; talking on an individual basis with each of my siblings who were there and my parents. One of my favorite parts of being in the outdoors is relying on the people around you for entertainment and enjoyment.


On the last day we went for a bike ride too. That was awesome because in the past we just packed up camp and came back home on Sundays; this time, after we packed up camp, we biked over the dam to the Dillon Marina, then back over the dam into Frisco and went out to dinner. It was just an all-around enjoyable day. The best part was realizing that those times that we went home, we just unpacked and sat around for the rest of the day; instead, this time we actually made something out of the day and then unpacked and went to bed when we got back home.

Camp Wojtyla - Someday

Last full day of Camp Wojtyla 2011. This has been the most incredible 2 months of my entire life. My belief in and love for Jesus Christ has deepened - way down deep down in my soul - I've learned well the self-sacrificial love of a true man; I better understand how women ought to be loved and affirmed; the best part...there's still so much more. This is a beautiful life. In general, people don't take enough time to recognize that (I know I don't). And heaven is going to be infinitely more glorious. Wow! God is so good.

The lessons that I learned this summer I will carry with me for my entire life. It was a sad, sad, solemn occasion parting ways with all of the counselors from camp. We talked about it towards the beginning of the summer. The summer will come to an end and we will all go off in different directions, but the impact that we leave on each other will live on; the community we established carries on in a way that transcends the natural world. I begged for some external signs of how I was feeling deep down inside. I wanted so bad to have a good cry because all of the people that I was leaving are just so amazing.

It was certainly difficult for everyone, but we definitely cannot have just stayed there forever - not yet anyway. For the time being, it is our responsibility, our mission, to go to the world and share the love that we experienced this summer. The way the world appears now is not what it was made to be. People do not treat others or themselves the way they ought to in order to have pure joy. That is our aim. We will strive to live out a true love in our words and actions every day. Sometimes we'll fail; that is our human nature. But it is also our human nature to get back up. I learned an important life lesson from the under side of pop bottle caps: Please Try Again. Funny the places that we can find parallels to a Christian lifestyle.

As I close this series of entries, I want to thank some people. First, I would like to thank Jesse Weiler for telling me about Camp Wojtyla. I would like to thank Aaron "Red Beard" Hendricks, Chris "Calamitys" Amateis, and Dot the full-time staff for all of their hard work and dedication throughout the year to make things run smoothly during the summer. Renato Sander, thank you for your help in getting Camp Wojtyla where it is today and for your continued prayers throughout the camp. Sandy and Theresa, and all previous staff thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Counselors of 2011, thank you for being tremendous witnesses for Jesus Christ. Thank you for the amazing community you established full of joy, accountability, encouragement, and love. We have all gone our separate ways, but the impact all of you have left on me will last a lifetime. Annie and Scott Powell. Thank you for making a dream a reality. You faced so many obstacles in making Camp Wojtyla happen, but that didn't stop you from following through. You met struggles head on and never let them get you down. The reality of this camp in and of itself is truly inspirational. Thank you also for sharing your family with all of us. Truly beautiful. And obviously, none of the above is possible without some help from above. Lord, I cannot show enough gratitude for the blessings which you have bestowed upon me and on this camp. I pray that you continue to bless all of the campers and staff on their journey out into the world to share your love. Without you, we can do nothing; with you all things are possible.

The theme verse of Camp Wojtyla: "I came that you might have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10.

I cannot wait to see you all again. You have truly played an integral role in the development of my faith. God bless you all.

In true Camp Wojtyla fashion, I will close with the lyrics to "Someday," a Jamaican song describing what is awaiting us in heaven.

Someday, someday, someday, someday
Someday, someday, someday, someday

Peace and joy and happiness
No more sorrow, someday

Gotta be ready when He calls my name
Gotta be ready when He calls my name
Gotta be ready when He calls my name
Someday

Trumpets will sound
And all the dead shall rise
We'll walk the streets of gold
Someday

Someday, someday, someday, someday
Someday, someday, someday, someday

Camp Wojtyla - Where You Go I'll Go

Vocation talk with Scott. Followed by personal reflection on the balcony at St. Malo's. "Here I am, Lord. I'm listening." He told me that I wasn't going to be near my family. I didn't hear actual words, but there was a strong knowing. Legitimate? You may not think so, but it was real. I cried on that balcony alone for a half hour. Rewind to the previous weekend. My dad dropped me off at camp after an evening out. We had one of the best conversations I'd ever had with him. He came to my tipi, we hugged, and after an exchange of "I love you," I watched him walk back to the car. And just like that, he was gone. I cried that night, praying someone would hear me. God came. "I love you," I repeated over and over and over. If leaving my family is what it takes for your will to be done...I'm yours.

The song, "I Will Follow" by Chris Tomlin kept replaying in my mind as I had fallen to my knees on the balcony that night. I am really tight with my family and until this past year, I was certain that I was going to end up living in my hometown after I graduate. Well, there's a lot leading me to think otherwise. It's a difficult thought to deal with. A conversation with another counselor later on that evening brought some peace for the night. The next day also brought a comforting realization. If I base what I do in life on whether or not I will be near my family, I will be limiting myself tremendously and will be taking opportunities away from myself for greatness. I love my family dearly, but if what God has in store for me requires me to settle a great distance from my family then I have a handful of life experiences that I believe have prepared me to do so. This past summer is a great example. I had been telling my parents, siblings, and friends leading up to camp that I was going to have the weekends off to come home and spend time with them. What actually ended up happening was that the weekends were time for all of us counselors to bond more as a community. I called my mom on the second weekend when I realized that's how it was going to work for the rest of the summer. I apologized numerous times, but I also told her that I knew that this was where I needed to be. The work I was doing was actually making a real difference in the lives of everyone that I was around; not just the campers coming through but also the rest of the staff. I think I can safely speak for all of the counselors when I say that we were all impacted by each other in an amazing way this summer in the way we treated and encouraged one another.

I've learned over the past year that saying yes to God brings pure joy in life. This doesn't mean that there are no hard times. In fact, often it does mean struggle. But what I realized this summer is that a long strand of times that I said yes to Him over the past year led me to the most amazing two months of my life. I can only imagine what He has in store for me if I keep my eyes, ears, and heart open to His will.

Camp Wojtyla - Anniversary Music

The next story, I don't actually have anything recorded in my journal; nonetheless, I absolutely had to include my parents' 25th anniversary. During the weeks between classes ending and camp starting I was trying desperately to pull something together for my parents' anniversary. I started off trying to get a scrapbook of them through the years - fail. I was in contact with one of my mom's friends and we were going to look for a venue about a month and a half before the big day - fail. I left for camp and was, from that point on, out of the equation when it came to planning for the surprise. Fortunately, my oldest brother took the reigns with tons of help from a couple of my mom's friends. My parents thought that they were just going over for a small family dinner. Little did they know, my brother and company had rallied together a posse of guests for the occasion (around 50 people or so). They were both very moved that so many people came to celebrate their devotion to each other.

Mom and Dad, I love you both very much, and I can't thank you both enough for the inspiring example you are to me and all of your children. You have raised a beautiful family...with an awesome third son!











Again, being out of the loop for planning the actual party, I felt the need to contribute in some way. I had learned a few chords on the guitar. So I started working on some lyrics. I got stuck so I prayed for a little help from the good old third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. Lo, and behold, a song. Now, since I don't have a journal entry to put in italics for this entry, I'll just include the lyrics and the video from the anniversary backyard performance. Video on youtube.com at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDFtQZjA-lI. Enjoy!

Giving You My Whole Life by Justin Langfield

Two worlds collide
It was true love from the start
A love so divine
Joining two young hearts

It didn't take too long
A leap of faith, a drop of grace
Nothing in the whole world mattered
As he looked upon her face

Chorus:
This is a love that's everlasting
A joy that's never-ending
A bond that's cherished 'til the end of time
Yes, we've had our struggles
We've shared our times of grief
But I promise you I will never stop
Giving you my whole life

Life came with surprises
Each experience was new
Each child and memory
The love it only grew

All the world around us
Families crumblin' to the ground
You two have both stayed strong
For 25 years now

Chorus

Caring for each other
Each and every day
When the road meets the rubber
You never run away
You taught all of your children
How to have a loving heart
We're all growing up now
But we'll never be apart

Blessings from the Lord
Give this marriage what is due
Never go a day without sayin'
I love you

Chorus 2x

Camp Wojtyla - Faith Like a Child

One of my personal struggles with my Catholic faith has been truly grasping the miracle of the Eucharist - that the bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Jesus Christ. I do believe it, but it is certainly a challenge when all five of our senses tell us that nothing has changed.

During the Eucharist a few days ago, Lily (age 3) helped me with my belief in the real miracle that is the bread and wine becoming the body and blood of Jesus Christ. In the middle of the blessing she said, "That's Jesus." So simple. The faith of a child is so beautiful.

I had been praying so much about this issue in the weeks leading up to this incident during Mass. It's amazing to me how much children can influence the faith of a grown man. Thank you, Lily.

Children can teach us so much about faith. One story that I remember hearing during high school was from the Youth Pastor at my church. He talked about how his youngest son, Daniel (age 4 at the time of the story) had fallen and hurt himself. He got up crying and his immediate reaction was he reached out with both arms to his father. I know that prayer to my Father is not the first place I typically go when I am hurt. Just another prime example of the things we can learn from children. Love 'em.

Camp Wojtyla - Revealing Myself to Myself

I had an awesome talk with Dr. Tom Zimmer on our hike today. I asked him about his experience as an outdoor educator. I'm leaning farther away from PT/OT. He started talking about all of the organizations and job opportunities in the field. Camp Wojtyla is an inspiration for me because of the faith incorporation. Tom cam from a very athletically oriented family just like me. He told me that this was the first thing that was just his. This is my own thing. It's for God and others but I'm not following in any body's footprints this summer. Aaron asked me why, what experience did I have that made me so passionate about working in outdoor education. At this point, I have none. He said that, in his eyes, is a calling.

Now, I have not settled 100% on a career for after I graduate, but I know that this summer I really felt like I belonged where I was. I have even continued sleeping on the ground in my backyard! And my family is going camping this weekend. I can't get enough. Something about that path feels right to me though. I have always had a passion for the outdoors - never exposed myself to everything very much until this summer, and I had the time of my life. In addition, this was the first job I have ever had that I actually felt like I was making a real impact on someone's life. Easy to feel that after 3 years as a groundskeeper. At this point, I'm putting myself on track to work in the outdoor education world. I will be working with Camp Wojtyla through the course of the coming semester and over Christmas break. That is as far as I have planned as of yet, but I am excited to see where things go from there.

I'm not going to say that I'm 100% sure about my vocation because I realize how quickly things can change in life and God has a way of having His will, not mine, be done, but I've never been more sure that marriage is my path. I've been honest with God in prayer that that is my true desire.

Up until the last eight months, I had never really been open to the idea of being a priest or joining a religious order. I always thought that I was going to be married and have kids (someone with my background, 5 siblings, large extended family, not surprising). So, I am open to those vocations, but right now I do feel very strongly called to married life. This summer taught me so much about the self-sacrificing love of a father for his children. That is what a true man does. He devotes his entire being to his wife and children. There is a shortage of that type of man in our world today. I want to love my family like Christ loved the Church: I will die for them if death is required of me for their benefit.

I read in a little booklet called "Becoming a Real Man of God" that "Saint Joseph is a man of action. He never says a word in sacred Scripture and yet his actions are remembered to this day."


For a very long time, I have had difficulty being able to express myself verbally with others; something that I am still, to some degree, self-conscious about. Reading that line though, and learning a little bit about the life of St. Joseph really helped me because I do believe that the way I conduct myself speaks volumes about the type of person I am. That is something else that I learned at camp this summer. Things that I said to the campers throughout the summer, I'm not really sure how effective they were or how well they sank in; however, them seeing me devote my summer for them spoke for itself. Not to be chauvinistic, but the example that I set for them will most certainly left an impact on the boys. Actions truly do speak louder than words.

Camp Wojtyla - Thank You Women of Camp Wojtyla

Well, I would be doing an injustice to not talk about how amazing the women were at camp this summer. There is a vicious cycle in society of men not respecting women, women becoming desensitized and not expecting any respect, therefore, disrespecting themselves which then leads to men disrespecting them even more. Women in this community respected themselves. The men in this community respected them. This was also a constant cycle; however, it looked the exact opposite. Men respected the women, the women respected themselves, and that relationship only fed the system, as both sides mutually called the other to something higher than our culture demands. This summer helped me see that what I have been taught growing up is an actual possibility to turn around our culture. I received some valuable insight about women early on in the summer. I've been making an effort to make women feel more confident in who they are by complimenting them on their looks, telling them that they look nice. Here are a few of the thoughts that I took away from this discussion.

Compliment them on their virtues rather than their physical appearance. Both approaches are attempts at making women less self-conscious about how the world tells them they're supposed to look; however, commenting on their virtues on only leads them away from that mindset, but it also shows them where true beauty resides. I know that's kind of cheesy but it really is true. Physical attraction is just so frail. It simply does not last.

Aaron imparted some wisdom about the intention behind the male Sherpa Staff. It's not just about the food. "We could hire a chef to cook for 90 people, no problem." We live in a society that uses and abuses women in more ways that I can count or even care to think about. It's disgusting. The male Sherpa Staff is a lesson in counter-culture. We are serving all of these beautiful women with no hidden agenda. We do it because we love and care about their well-being. I pray that the women - especially the young girls - will take note of how men ought to treat them. I hope to teach the young men who will be coming to camp that same thing; the respect that women inherently deserve.

Young men are so confused in today's world. They see what society tells them they should be, so when someone shows them that that is actually not how men should treat women, they're awestruck. I want women to know what beautiful creations they are.

Now, the real challenge is bring that back to the world. It was super easy up at camp. I'm certainly not one to disrespect women, but as a man I feel that I have an obligation to call others to that, to show women that they are more than what the world tells them they are. It's a huge mission. Odds are seemingly against us. But for any man who is with me on this one, we've got someone on our side who I think gives us at least a slight advantage. Jesus Christ. Men, we were made to be courageous. We were made for protection. Let's stop our childish ways of treating women like garbage and hold them up like the princesses they are.
Great song by Casting Crowns http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

Camp Wojtyla - Inconvenience vs. Adventure

"Inconveniences are adventures considered wrongly; adventures are inconveniences considered rightly." - G.K. Chesterton "Good morning, Camp Wojtyla!" I shouted at 4:17am. Alpine sludge for breakfast. We got to the parking lot that we were supposed to take off from for our first summit attempt, but the pass was closed. The rough dirt road with huge puddles of water were not ideal driving conditions for the Toyota sedan that we were riding in. We finally made it to a new trail head at just after 8am.

G.K. Chesterton, well done. We were planning on being on trail by 6am at the original trail head, so nobody was particularly happy when we came upon the road barrier preventing us from going through with that plan. But we all rolled with it and headed off to Fourth of July Trail just outside of Eldora, CO. The drive itself was quite an experience. One of the cars (Darby), couldn't make it all the way, so we had to condense the passengers from that car into one of the suburbans. Immediately following the switch, I watched from the car behind as the suburban shot up into the air as it hit a huge rock in the road that was hidden by a puddle. Luckily, there was no significant damage...to the '97 suburban with 200,000+ miles on it. Later on the trail, we ran into weather complications, so our summit attempt had to be forfeited. On the way down, one of the counselors hurt her knee, so we all had to pitch in to help get her 2 miles down the mountain back to the cars. Talk about an inconvenient situation. It would have taken us a quarter of the time to get down if she hadn't gotten hurt. But it was a tremendous learning experience for all of us. And, after some storming to figure out who was going to lead the operation, we all worked together to get Lailee safely down the mountain.

Plus, we had an awesome time sliding down an icy patch of the mountain!