Nothin' to Lose

This past weekend was full of enjoyment. The headliner for the weekend was the Josh Gracin concert on Lower Bourke. Great times.

After the concert, I went over to a friend's house. It was really cool because after the concert, I didn't really feel like going over, I just felt like crashing at home and watching a movie. Little did I know what the evening had in store for me! I got my fix of relaxation as I people-watched from a chair in the corner of the basement. I just sat there by myself for about 15-20 watching everybody interact with each other and enjoy each others' company. I entered reflection mode as I pondered where I would be this time next year; away from college life and into a new and exciting chapter. Following my personal reflection time, I started walking around the house and ended up having awesome conversations with people with whom I had never had the opportunity of having really good, in-depth discussions. Following this series of authentic conversation, I finally made it to a point where I had the urge to join the dance party. I made my way back downstairs and burned up the floor (yea right!). It was funny because on my way over to the house I was saying that I was only in the mood to stay for an hour or not much longer than that...3 hours later and I'm finally making my way out the door. When I got back to my house, I decided that I needed to wind down before I went to bed. What better way to do that than to utilize the fire pit in my backyard? So I got a small fire going; fit for the enjoyment of the company of one. Just sat and took in the whole evening, in addition to a series of other thoughts. I was completely fulfilled on the evening because I was about ready to settle for a night of sitting in front of a television screen for 2 hours while everyone else had fun. I got to experience the night on a completely different level as I hit every facet of a party experience by soaking in the moment at the beginning; sharing great conversation with friends; and then getting my dance moves on before leaving the house and reflecting in front of a small fire. I don't mean to discredit the experience of everyone else, but I would argue that I had the BEST night of anybody there.

A New Home

Upon my return to Rockhurst I realized something. Before I had left for the summer, I had walked around the entire campus with this inescapable thought that it would be the last time I would be seeing the Rockhurst campus. I didn't understand it at all because I still had my senior year ahead of me. It didn't make any sense. Still, the feeling sat in my stomach and I couldn't get over it. I started thinking about all of the friends that I would miss if I didn't return to Rockhurst. I have had so many people help me grow in various ways here. I know that the day will come soon, but I just wasn't ready for that thought back in May of my junior year.

Through some reflection time here is what I realized: outside of a new class of freshmen, a giant parking garage, and summer haircuts, nothing has really changed here at Rockhurst. That's when it hit me. I have experienced some major changes over the past summer. I changed. I'm a different person than I was when I left in May. It's a good change. I was moved greatly by the Holy Spirit this summer and I have returned to campus with a purpose and a mission that I didn't really have a few months ago. I think that may explain that feeling that I had three months ago. I was looking at everything for the last time in that particular light; I was going to see it all again, but it would be with a new set of eyes.

Among a few plans including an inter-fraternal Bible study and a Men's Retreat, I have taken on the Spiritual Chair of my fraternity. I have seen how experiencing Jesus Christ has morphed me into a much better person than I was when I first came to college. I honestly have trouble explaining most of it to other people, possibly because I'm not sure if they'll understand. But I suppose that is not for me to decide. My responsibility is to live out my faith so that others may experience Christ's love through me. "Make me a channel of your peace."

Can't Get Enough Outdoors

One weekend after I got back to civilization after an entire summer in the wilderness, my family decided to go on a vacation. A weekend camping by Dillon Reservoir between Dillon and Frisco Colorado. I think I kind of like this stuff. My mom asked me if I was alright with going camping for our family vacation. I love it. I finally got to go fishing too. I hadn't been fishing on a lake during the summer since 2009. I grew up fishing every summer. Wasn't great, only caught one on the weekend but it was such a great time just sitting back relaxing on the lake shore; talking on an individual basis with each of my siblings who were there and my parents. One of my favorite parts of being in the outdoors is relying on the people around you for entertainment and enjoyment.


On the last day we went for a bike ride too. That was awesome because in the past we just packed up camp and came back home on Sundays; this time, after we packed up camp, we biked over the dam to the Dillon Marina, then back over the dam into Frisco and went out to dinner. It was just an all-around enjoyable day. The best part was realizing that those times that we went home, we just unpacked and sat around for the rest of the day; instead, this time we actually made something out of the day and then unpacked and went to bed when we got back home.

Camp Wojtyla - Someday

Last full day of Camp Wojtyla 2011. This has been the most incredible 2 months of my entire life. My belief in and love for Jesus Christ has deepened - way down deep down in my soul - I've learned well the self-sacrificial love of a true man; I better understand how women ought to be loved and affirmed; the best part...there's still so much more. This is a beautiful life. In general, people don't take enough time to recognize that (I know I don't). And heaven is going to be infinitely more glorious. Wow! God is so good.

The lessons that I learned this summer I will carry with me for my entire life. It was a sad, sad, solemn occasion parting ways with all of the counselors from camp. We talked about it towards the beginning of the summer. The summer will come to an end and we will all go off in different directions, but the impact that we leave on each other will live on; the community we established carries on in a way that transcends the natural world. I begged for some external signs of how I was feeling deep down inside. I wanted so bad to have a good cry because all of the people that I was leaving are just so amazing.

It was certainly difficult for everyone, but we definitely cannot have just stayed there forever - not yet anyway. For the time being, it is our responsibility, our mission, to go to the world and share the love that we experienced this summer. The way the world appears now is not what it was made to be. People do not treat others or themselves the way they ought to in order to have pure joy. That is our aim. We will strive to live out a true love in our words and actions every day. Sometimes we'll fail; that is our human nature. But it is also our human nature to get back up. I learned an important life lesson from the under side of pop bottle caps: Please Try Again. Funny the places that we can find parallels to a Christian lifestyle.

As I close this series of entries, I want to thank some people. First, I would like to thank Jesse Weiler for telling me about Camp Wojtyla. I would like to thank Aaron "Red Beard" Hendricks, Chris "Calamitys" Amateis, and Dot the full-time staff for all of their hard work and dedication throughout the year to make things run smoothly during the summer. Renato Sander, thank you for your help in getting Camp Wojtyla where it is today and for your continued prayers throughout the camp. Sandy and Theresa, and all previous staff thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Counselors of 2011, thank you for being tremendous witnesses for Jesus Christ. Thank you for the amazing community you established full of joy, accountability, encouragement, and love. We have all gone our separate ways, but the impact all of you have left on me will last a lifetime. Annie and Scott Powell. Thank you for making a dream a reality. You faced so many obstacles in making Camp Wojtyla happen, but that didn't stop you from following through. You met struggles head on and never let them get you down. The reality of this camp in and of itself is truly inspirational. Thank you also for sharing your family with all of us. Truly beautiful. And obviously, none of the above is possible without some help from above. Lord, I cannot show enough gratitude for the blessings which you have bestowed upon me and on this camp. I pray that you continue to bless all of the campers and staff on their journey out into the world to share your love. Without you, we can do nothing; with you all things are possible.

The theme verse of Camp Wojtyla: "I came that you might have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10.

I cannot wait to see you all again. You have truly played an integral role in the development of my faith. God bless you all.

In true Camp Wojtyla fashion, I will close with the lyrics to "Someday," a Jamaican song describing what is awaiting us in heaven.

Someday, someday, someday, someday
Someday, someday, someday, someday

Peace and joy and happiness
No more sorrow, someday

Gotta be ready when He calls my name
Gotta be ready when He calls my name
Gotta be ready when He calls my name
Someday

Trumpets will sound
And all the dead shall rise
We'll walk the streets of gold
Someday

Someday, someday, someday, someday
Someday, someday, someday, someday

Camp Wojtyla - Where You Go I'll Go

Vocation talk with Scott. Followed by personal reflection on the balcony at St. Malo's. "Here I am, Lord. I'm listening." He told me that I wasn't going to be near my family. I didn't hear actual words, but there was a strong knowing. Legitimate? You may not think so, but it was real. I cried on that balcony alone for a half hour. Rewind to the previous weekend. My dad dropped me off at camp after an evening out. We had one of the best conversations I'd ever had with him. He came to my tipi, we hugged, and after an exchange of "I love you," I watched him walk back to the car. And just like that, he was gone. I cried that night, praying someone would hear me. God came. "I love you," I repeated over and over and over. If leaving my family is what it takes for your will to be done...I'm yours.

The song, "I Will Follow" by Chris Tomlin kept replaying in my mind as I had fallen to my knees on the balcony that night. I am really tight with my family and until this past year, I was certain that I was going to end up living in my hometown after I graduate. Well, there's a lot leading me to think otherwise. It's a difficult thought to deal with. A conversation with another counselor later on that evening brought some peace for the night. The next day also brought a comforting realization. If I base what I do in life on whether or not I will be near my family, I will be limiting myself tremendously and will be taking opportunities away from myself for greatness. I love my family dearly, but if what God has in store for me requires me to settle a great distance from my family then I have a handful of life experiences that I believe have prepared me to do so. This past summer is a great example. I had been telling my parents, siblings, and friends leading up to camp that I was going to have the weekends off to come home and spend time with them. What actually ended up happening was that the weekends were time for all of us counselors to bond more as a community. I called my mom on the second weekend when I realized that's how it was going to work for the rest of the summer. I apologized numerous times, but I also told her that I knew that this was where I needed to be. The work I was doing was actually making a real difference in the lives of everyone that I was around; not just the campers coming through but also the rest of the staff. I think I can safely speak for all of the counselors when I say that we were all impacted by each other in an amazing way this summer in the way we treated and encouraged one another.

I've learned over the past year that saying yes to God brings pure joy in life. This doesn't mean that there are no hard times. In fact, often it does mean struggle. But what I realized this summer is that a long strand of times that I said yes to Him over the past year led me to the most amazing two months of my life. I can only imagine what He has in store for me if I keep my eyes, ears, and heart open to His will.

Camp Wojtyla - Anniversary Music

The next story, I don't actually have anything recorded in my journal; nonetheless, I absolutely had to include my parents' 25th anniversary. During the weeks between classes ending and camp starting I was trying desperately to pull something together for my parents' anniversary. I started off trying to get a scrapbook of them through the years - fail. I was in contact with one of my mom's friends and we were going to look for a venue about a month and a half before the big day - fail. I left for camp and was, from that point on, out of the equation when it came to planning for the surprise. Fortunately, my oldest brother took the reigns with tons of help from a couple of my mom's friends. My parents thought that they were just going over for a small family dinner. Little did they know, my brother and company had rallied together a posse of guests for the occasion (around 50 people or so). They were both very moved that so many people came to celebrate their devotion to each other.

Mom and Dad, I love you both very much, and I can't thank you both enough for the inspiring example you are to me and all of your children. You have raised a beautiful family...with an awesome third son!











Again, being out of the loop for planning the actual party, I felt the need to contribute in some way. I had learned a few chords on the guitar. So I started working on some lyrics. I got stuck so I prayed for a little help from the good old third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. Lo, and behold, a song. Now, since I don't have a journal entry to put in italics for this entry, I'll just include the lyrics and the video from the anniversary backyard performance. Video on youtube.com at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDFtQZjA-lI. Enjoy!

Giving You My Whole Life by Justin Langfield

Two worlds collide
It was true love from the start
A love so divine
Joining two young hearts

It didn't take too long
A leap of faith, a drop of grace
Nothing in the whole world mattered
As he looked upon her face

Chorus:
This is a love that's everlasting
A joy that's never-ending
A bond that's cherished 'til the end of time
Yes, we've had our struggles
We've shared our times of grief
But I promise you I will never stop
Giving you my whole life

Life came with surprises
Each experience was new
Each child and memory
The love it only grew

All the world around us
Families crumblin' to the ground
You two have both stayed strong
For 25 years now

Chorus

Caring for each other
Each and every day
When the road meets the rubber
You never run away
You taught all of your children
How to have a loving heart
We're all growing up now
But we'll never be apart

Blessings from the Lord
Give this marriage what is due
Never go a day without sayin'
I love you

Chorus 2x

Camp Wojtyla - Faith Like a Child

One of my personal struggles with my Catholic faith has been truly grasping the miracle of the Eucharist - that the bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Jesus Christ. I do believe it, but it is certainly a challenge when all five of our senses tell us that nothing has changed.

During the Eucharist a few days ago, Lily (age 3) helped me with my belief in the real miracle that is the bread and wine becoming the body and blood of Jesus Christ. In the middle of the blessing she said, "That's Jesus." So simple. The faith of a child is so beautiful.

I had been praying so much about this issue in the weeks leading up to this incident during Mass. It's amazing to me how much children can influence the faith of a grown man. Thank you, Lily.

Children can teach us so much about faith. One story that I remember hearing during high school was from the Youth Pastor at my church. He talked about how his youngest son, Daniel (age 4 at the time of the story) had fallen and hurt himself. He got up crying and his immediate reaction was he reached out with both arms to his father. I know that prayer to my Father is not the first place I typically go when I am hurt. Just another prime example of the things we can learn from children. Love 'em.

Camp Wojtyla - Revealing Myself to Myself

I had an awesome talk with Dr. Tom Zimmer on our hike today. I asked him about his experience as an outdoor educator. I'm leaning farther away from PT/OT. He started talking about all of the organizations and job opportunities in the field. Camp Wojtyla is an inspiration for me because of the faith incorporation. Tom cam from a very athletically oriented family just like me. He told me that this was the first thing that was just his. This is my own thing. It's for God and others but I'm not following in any body's footprints this summer. Aaron asked me why, what experience did I have that made me so passionate about working in outdoor education. At this point, I have none. He said that, in his eyes, is a calling.

Now, I have not settled 100% on a career for after I graduate, but I know that this summer I really felt like I belonged where I was. I have even continued sleeping on the ground in my backyard! And my family is going camping this weekend. I can't get enough. Something about that path feels right to me though. I have always had a passion for the outdoors - never exposed myself to everything very much until this summer, and I had the time of my life. In addition, this was the first job I have ever had that I actually felt like I was making a real impact on someone's life. Easy to feel that after 3 years as a groundskeeper. At this point, I'm putting myself on track to work in the outdoor education world. I will be working with Camp Wojtyla through the course of the coming semester and over Christmas break. That is as far as I have planned as of yet, but I am excited to see where things go from there.

I'm not going to say that I'm 100% sure about my vocation because I realize how quickly things can change in life and God has a way of having His will, not mine, be done, but I've never been more sure that marriage is my path. I've been honest with God in prayer that that is my true desire.

Up until the last eight months, I had never really been open to the idea of being a priest or joining a religious order. I always thought that I was going to be married and have kids (someone with my background, 5 siblings, large extended family, not surprising). So, I am open to those vocations, but right now I do feel very strongly called to married life. This summer taught me so much about the self-sacrificing love of a father for his children. That is what a true man does. He devotes his entire being to his wife and children. There is a shortage of that type of man in our world today. I want to love my family like Christ loved the Church: I will die for them if death is required of me for their benefit.

I read in a little booklet called "Becoming a Real Man of God" that "Saint Joseph is a man of action. He never says a word in sacred Scripture and yet his actions are remembered to this day."


For a very long time, I have had difficulty being able to express myself verbally with others; something that I am still, to some degree, self-conscious about. Reading that line though, and learning a little bit about the life of St. Joseph really helped me because I do believe that the way I conduct myself speaks volumes about the type of person I am. That is something else that I learned at camp this summer. Things that I said to the campers throughout the summer, I'm not really sure how effective they were or how well they sank in; however, them seeing me devote my summer for them spoke for itself. Not to be chauvinistic, but the example that I set for them will most certainly left an impact on the boys. Actions truly do speak louder than words.

Camp Wojtyla - Thank You Women of Camp Wojtyla

Well, I would be doing an injustice to not talk about how amazing the women were at camp this summer. There is a vicious cycle in society of men not respecting women, women becoming desensitized and not expecting any respect, therefore, disrespecting themselves which then leads to men disrespecting them even more. Women in this community respected themselves. The men in this community respected them. This was also a constant cycle; however, it looked the exact opposite. Men respected the women, the women respected themselves, and that relationship only fed the system, as both sides mutually called the other to something higher than our culture demands. This summer helped me see that what I have been taught growing up is an actual possibility to turn around our culture. I received some valuable insight about women early on in the summer. I've been making an effort to make women feel more confident in who they are by complimenting them on their looks, telling them that they look nice. Here are a few of the thoughts that I took away from this discussion.

Compliment them on their virtues rather than their physical appearance. Both approaches are attempts at making women less self-conscious about how the world tells them they're supposed to look; however, commenting on their virtues on only leads them away from that mindset, but it also shows them where true beauty resides. I know that's kind of cheesy but it really is true. Physical attraction is just so frail. It simply does not last.

Aaron imparted some wisdom about the intention behind the male Sherpa Staff. It's not just about the food. "We could hire a chef to cook for 90 people, no problem." We live in a society that uses and abuses women in more ways that I can count or even care to think about. It's disgusting. The male Sherpa Staff is a lesson in counter-culture. We are serving all of these beautiful women with no hidden agenda. We do it because we love and care about their well-being. I pray that the women - especially the young girls - will take note of how men ought to treat them. I hope to teach the young men who will be coming to camp that same thing; the respect that women inherently deserve.

Young men are so confused in today's world. They see what society tells them they should be, so when someone shows them that that is actually not how men should treat women, they're awestruck. I want women to know what beautiful creations they are.

Now, the real challenge is bring that back to the world. It was super easy up at camp. I'm certainly not one to disrespect women, but as a man I feel that I have an obligation to call others to that, to show women that they are more than what the world tells them they are. It's a huge mission. Odds are seemingly against us. But for any man who is with me on this one, we've got someone on our side who I think gives us at least a slight advantage. Jesus Christ. Men, we were made to be courageous. We were made for protection. Let's stop our childish ways of treating women like garbage and hold them up like the princesses they are.
Great song by Casting Crowns http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

Camp Wojtyla - Inconvenience vs. Adventure

"Inconveniences are adventures considered wrongly; adventures are inconveniences considered rightly." - G.K. Chesterton "Good morning, Camp Wojtyla!" I shouted at 4:17am. Alpine sludge for breakfast. We got to the parking lot that we were supposed to take off from for our first summit attempt, but the pass was closed. The rough dirt road with huge puddles of water were not ideal driving conditions for the Toyota sedan that we were riding in. We finally made it to a new trail head at just after 8am.

G.K. Chesterton, well done. We were planning on being on trail by 6am at the original trail head, so nobody was particularly happy when we came upon the road barrier preventing us from going through with that plan. But we all rolled with it and headed off to Fourth of July Trail just outside of Eldora, CO. The drive itself was quite an experience. One of the cars (Darby), couldn't make it all the way, so we had to condense the passengers from that car into one of the suburbans. Immediately following the switch, I watched from the car behind as the suburban shot up into the air as it hit a huge rock in the road that was hidden by a puddle. Luckily, there was no significant damage...to the '97 suburban with 200,000+ miles on it. Later on the trail, we ran into weather complications, so our summit attempt had to be forfeited. On the way down, one of the counselors hurt her knee, so we all had to pitch in to help get her 2 miles down the mountain back to the cars. Talk about an inconvenient situation. It would have taken us a quarter of the time to get down if she hadn't gotten hurt. But it was a tremendous learning experience for all of us. And, after some storming to figure out who was going to lead the operation, we all worked together to get Lailee safely down the mountain.

Plus, we had an awesome time sliding down an icy patch of the mountain!

Camp Wojtyla - Trinitarian Tipis

Main struggle of the day was tipi set-up. Long story short, we had to start over on all of them at least three times. The best point that was brought to my attention was that we had messed up with the tripod base. The Trinity. Our foundation was out of whack: therefore, nothing else was working the way it was supposed to. So it is with our relationship with God. When our relationship with Him is right, everything else falls right into place. What a miracle!

One of the main goals of this summer with the campers was to teach them about the four relationships: our relationship with God, with ourselves, with others, and with God's creation. The first objective is to reconcile our relationship with God because when that relationship is healed, everything else better as well. It's just like a machine. If one fundamental piece of a machine is not working properly, the entire system is thrown off. This summer was truly a testament to that. We were all focusing so much on our relationship with God that, from my perspective, all of those other relationships were working. This is not to say that we did not struggle at times. Living in a community for eight weeks, it is inevitable that someone is going to push another to their limit - especially on little amounts of sleep. But we were able to handle those situations rather than just ignoring that anything was wrong. That happens all too often in our world today. Too many people are afraid of actually addressing problems so they just let the tension sit and think that "time will heal everything." I don't think so. When there's an issue we shouldn't just let time heal it. That simply does not work. We need to learn how to communicate with each other and talk out problems in a civilized manner. There will be arguments and disagreements, no getting around that. But rather than ignoring those, or exploding at others in anger, those issues need to be addressed with understanding hearts.

Camp Wojtyla - "Good Morning, Camp Wojtyla!"

This post and eight additional posts will be excerpts from my personal journal from Camp Wojtyla this summer. Excerpts will be identified in italics. I spent the most amazing eight weeks of my life on a patch of heaven with a community of men and women striving to bring each other and the campers who came out closer to Jesus Christ.

"Good morning, Camp Wojtyla!" Renato Sander (aka "Big Bear") bellowed at 4:30am on Day 1 of counselor training at St. Malo's Retreat Center in Allenspark, CO. Didn't sleep well. The wind whipped and howled throughout the night. Nonetheless, I got up and we took off for a sunrise hike on Pope John Paul II Trail. Silence throughout the walk. Silence when we reached the end of the trail. Pure awe at the beauty that God has created. My humility grew as I gazed upon the incredible scenery. We celebrated Mass atop a rock to commence our 2-day silent retreat. Stories in the Bible tell us of men who went to pray on top of a mountain just before they set out to complete a mission from God. What's next for me?







What I didn't know then back at the start of things was the influence I was going to have on the people around me, campers and counselors alike. Myself and the rest of the male staff portrayed to the female counselors how men ought to treat women. Men should be respecting women, doing chivalrous deeds for them without having some hidden agenda like we see so much of in our society today. Men should be doing those things for the pure fact that they will lead to the betterment of that woman. Some of the ladies there had never seen that before. They thanked us throughout the summer for being real men. As for the campers, these young men got to see examples of adults living out their faith with a radical devotion. They got to witness that being Catholic does not mean following a list of rules and not having any fun. The theme verse for Camp Wojtyla is John 10:10 "I came that they might have life, and have it to the full." That is the exact opportunity that this camp provides for these kids (and the counselors). We were all blessed with the experience of getting out into the wilderness to truly appreciate God, others, and his beautiful creation.