(November 23, 2012)
There have been a few recurring themes popping up in my life lately. The
main ones are: God calling me to greatness and leadership, and fear of failure.
Huh? If you noticed the same thing I did, you realized that these two themes do
not exactly promote one another.
For the longest time, even in the midst of leadership roles, I have fallen
to believing that I was not good enough or worthy to hold such a position. I
was always honored by the selection made by my peers, but the internal belief
in my own heart that I am here for a purpose - to do something great for this
world, and to lead and inspire other men to do something great as well - had
never really taken a hold of me. Recent events are leading me to internalize this
call to greatness more and more and...the fear of failure, while honestly still
present, is beginning to lose its grasp.
First, having shared some of my leadership roles of the past with the
community of men I live with now, one man in particular has reminded me that
those roles don't just get handed out to anybody. The most significant was my
term as President of my fraternity. Now, I will say here that I get really
uncomfortable talking about myself because I never want to come off as arrogant
or as building up my own ego. However, what I have come to realize is that this
has caused me to downplay some of my achievements as routine. I don't think
that I completely ignored my gifts, however, the fear of failure that I
mentioned has been subconsciously impeding me from being fully aware of and
embracing those gifts because that would mean I would have to take on the
responsibility of using them, which in turn would mean taking a risk of
failing. The responsibility is not what scares me, rather, the idea that
whatever I do won't be enough to get the job done. Here is where the reminders
come into play. Others in the past have seen something in me that inspires
them. Like I said, I don't want to "toot my own horn" but I do want
to express true humility in recognizing the gifts that God has given me and use
them to the best of my ability to glorify Him. I have an ability to inspire
others. Having identified that, the next step is how will I utilize that gift
for the betterment of the world of men around me?
Next, I have been recognizing more and more the heavy investment of my
superiors in my team and, for the purpose of this note, in myself. They also
see someone who is worth investing in. Otherwise, why would they bother with
their precious time sharing experience and knowledge that would be better
suited elsewhere? God has given me something that I have got to learn how to
wield. The attacks on humanity are relentless: abortion, poverty, murder, sex
trafficking, pornography, depression, physical ailments, war...the list goes
on. I want to solve all of the problems of the world. Don't we all. But the
fact of the matter is that the task is WAY too big for any one person on
his/her own. And, as we are many parts, my strengths are not going to be best
suited for some (most) of these issues. Sure, I could absolutely apply them in
all of these areas of need, and good work would be accomplished. But I ask
myself, "Where is the BEST use of my time and gifts"? That question
is still in the air for further discernment. My superiors are teaching me many
practical skills to succeed in wherever it is that that question leads me. Not
only to play some small role, but to LEAD and INSPIRE others in a mission to
change the world in some way.
This one is a little on the abstract side because anybody could have been
watching the movie and heard the same lines from this scene. But I don't
believe in coincidences because I think that every event has its purpose;
whether we pay attention to more than its surface-level meaning or not is
another thing. Anyway, I was channel surfing one night - with all of this
"call to greatness," "leadership," "inspiration,"
and "fisher of men" business hot on my mind when I came across the
Chronicles of Narnia. I never read the books. Saw one of the movies. I'm no
crazed fan or anything, but for some reason, I stopped. All of the creatures
were gathered around one man (I don't even actually know the character's name)
as a great battle was coming upon them soon. They all looked to him. They said
they would go to battle...if HE would lead them. Who is waiting for me to step
up? Who will I lead?
Recognition of a call to greatness, for me and hopefully for all who hear
that call, should not become a power-thirsty aspiration for vain glory. I know
better than to be a prideful leader, although I am not naive to the objective
temptation to gloat when a leadership role is taken. Temptations will certainly
arise to say, “Look at everything that I am doing.” No. Look
at everything that GOD is doing through me by inspiring me and
giving life to my gifts. Yes, I am acting on that inspiration and seeking those
areas where I can serve, but none of it is possible without the Great Musician.
Make me an instrument.
As I am writing this
out, it came to my mind that the purpose of my sharing this note with others is
one in the same as the gift that I have come to recognize in myself. INSPIRE.
My aim for including YOU is not to gloat about this newly discovered gift of
mine; rather, it is to encourage YOU in your own call to greatness. Your unique
gifts are waiting within you, waiting to be recognized, waiting to be utilized
and put into action to do “something beautiful for God.” St. Catherine of Siena
said, “Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire.” My
prayer for all of you is that you can spread like a wildfire by allowing God to
work in incredible ways through you; ways that you never even thought
imaginable.
Glorify God in everything that you think, say, and do. Set the world on FIRE!!!
